Alethia Luna writes:

You feel the pressure throb in your veins. A lump rises in your throat as your colleagues watch you closely. They are expecting an answer. They are expecting you to comply Every fiber of your being want to scream “No I can’t.” but as if possessed, you automatically smile sweetly and say, ‘Yes, I’ll do it, thanks for asking.”

What is going on here?! Why can’t you just say “no,” and walk away?

If you’re like me, people-pleasing has run havoc in your life. It has crushed your spirit repeatedly. It has robbed you of peace of mind, personal empowerment and the courage to follow your goals and dreams. It has hit you while you’re down and dragged you through the dirt. It might have also contributed to chronic issues in your life such as anxiety disorders, depression, addiction or co-dependency.

So what exactly is people-pleasing … and how can we heal the root cause of it?


​At some point or another, we have all struggled with people-pleasing. After all, as social creatures, we are prone to peer pressure and the desire to fit in. But there is a big difference between the desire for acceptance and people-pleasing. People-pleasing is not just a once-in-a-while foible: it’s a daily struggle.

Here are 16 common habits:

  • You struggle to say “no”
  • You find it hard to be assertive and voice your opinions
  • You’re hyper-vigilant about perceived rejection from others (always on the lookout)
  • You’re an emotophobe (you fear negative emotions)
  • You’re excessively altruistic/philanthropic
  • You often suffer at the expense of doing a favor for others
  • You have a weak sense of self and poor interpersonal boundaries
  • You become emotionally dependent/co-dependent when in relationships/friendships
  • You’re addicted to approval from others
  • You have a neurotic desire to be liked no matter what
  • You feel shattered for days or weeks when someone criticises you
  • You have low self-worth
  • You act based on what “other people think” of you
  • You always put yourself in other’s shoes, but you rarely show compassion towards yourself
  • You blindly believe in other people’s “goodness” even if they are clearly abusive towards you
  • You fear losing control of yourself because you repress so much

Read more HERE

About the Author

Aletheia Luna is a transformational mentor and holistic writer, she has helped to guide thousands of people all throughout the world on their paths of self-acceptance and wholeness