EMBRACING SIMPLE BLOG: HOW TO STOP WASTING YOUR ENERGY ON TOXIC PEOPLE

Christina Tiplea of Embracing Simple Blog writes:

Lately I’ve been giving a lot of thought to toxic people and how we all deal with them. When I was younger, I think I definitely put up with a lot more toxic behavior than I would nowadays.

Labeling someone as “toxic” doesn’t necessarily mean they are emotionally abusive, but they do typically judge others, spread negativity, and have a gift for making you feel the exact same way after being in their presence.

A simple phone call or chat with them can leave you feeling heavy-hearted, stressed out, or in a foul mood. Who wants to feel like that?!

I used to allow the toxic people in my life to drain my energy & positive attitude and affect my mood for the remainder of the day. Sometimes associating with them even turned me into the toxic person. Whether it was a co-worker, a friend, or even a family member, there are several instances now when I look back that I should have been more proactive in limiting my contact with those people. I would have been much happier at the time as a result.

At this stage of my life, I’m extremely protective of my inner peace and will fight like hell if someone is trying to ruin that for me. Some may view that as selfish behavior, but I think that sometimes you deserve to be selfish and guarded about how you let others affect you. The way I see it, if someone or something takes away from your ability to feel happy and peaceful, they need to be either dealt with or removed from your life.

HOW TO STOP WASTING YOUR ENERGY ON TOXIC PEOPLE:

IDENTIFY THE TOXIC PEOPLE IN YOUR LIFE

This is the first and most important step! Take some time to reflect on your interactions with everyone in your life and how you feel after talking to certain individuals. Do you find yourself in a bad mood or having a negative disposition towards life in general after every time you speak to someone? Evaluate your relationships and see which ones are having positive or negative impacts on your happiness and well-being.

STOP LISTENING TO THEIR COMPLAINTS

When you find yourself getting sucked into a conversation that is revolving on complaints and breeding negativity, you need to tune those complaints out. Whether it’s changing the topic of the conversation, or even finding an excuse to physically leave the conversation, nothing good can come of listening to incessant complaining or negative remarks.

DROWN THEM WITH POSITIVITY

If you really want to send them for a loop, go beyond just tuning out their complaints and instead drown them with positive remarks. Toxic people don’t usually take well to the conversation being abruptly changed to something positive.

Find a way to put a positive spin on their negative remark and send the conversation spiraling to a happy place. If they are looking for someone to unload their negative energy onto in the future, they likely won’t be coming to you again!

DON’T SPEND ONE-ON-ONE TIME WITH THEM

Hang out in groups if at all possible. For example – if it’s a co-worker who has toxic energy and you find yourself being forced into social situations with this person, try to include others if at all possible. This way you are not the only one on the receiving end of the negativity and there are others to help you absorb the negative comments and try to put a positive spin on the conversation.

DON’T TAKE IT PERSONALLY

Toxic people are generally toxic to everyone around them, not just you. Don’t take their behavior personally or as a direct reflection of you. They tend to not think very highly of themselves, and are displacing that negativity onto others as a way to cope. Their behavior has everything to do with them and nothing to do with you.

HAVE SOME SELF-RESPECT

Perhaps this is someone who you’ve been friends with since grade school or is even your spouse. It can be hard to accept that their toxic behavior is impacting you in a negative way, but dealing with it is something that you need to make a priority.

You deserve to be happy and surround yourself with people who only lift you up and allow you to be the best “you” possible. You owe it to yourself to have enough self-respect to do what’s best for you and your well-being