Andrea Schulman of Body Mind Soul Spirit writes:
Affirmations can be tricky, tricky things.
Affirmations are positive statements designed to focus our attention on having the things we want in life. Many students of the Law of Attraction use affirmations regularly to align with their goals and desires.
A well-constructed affirmation can tap you into the knowledge that all is well, and that you are capable of great things. A well-constructed affirmation can help you attract more and more of the good things you are hoping to manifest with the Law of Attraction.
A not-so-well-constructed affirmation can leave you feeling bored and uninspired, or even worse, irritated, sad or angry! A not-so-well-constructed affirmation will actually push away the things you want.
Therefore, it’s really important to construct your affirmations with care!
What makes a good affirmation?
There are a number of characteristics of a good affirmation. However, in my opinion, the most important characteristic of a good affirmation is that it feels true.
Consider the following.
You are a young woman who just got dumped and who has a bad relationship with your family. You are feeling alone and uncared for. You want to attract in new relationships that make you feel connected and loved, so you decide to practice some affirmations.
You find a few affirmations, and decide to use this one daily: “I am loved.”
Do you imagine reciting the affirmation “I am loved,” over and over is going to feel particularly true to you in this situation?
Probably not. In fact, saying “I am loved” to yourself over and over again when you are clearly NOT feeling very loved is only going to amplify the feelings of being unloved, not loved.
Whenever we feel we don’t have something we want, telling ourselves we have it is a surefire way to establish greater feelings of insecurity.
When we assert something we don’t believe we have, it makes us feel like we are lying to ourselves. It’s not a good feeling. It’s like telling a sad person to smile and be positive when he or she is sobbing uncontrollably. It just doesn’t work, and it only makes the sad person feel worse.
Telling yourself you have something you don’t really believe you have is the wrong way to use affirmations. An affirmation must feel true in order to amplify positive feelings of belief.
If your affirmations don’t feel true, modify them.
So, what do you do? If you want to attract love, are you simply supposed to avoid all kinds of affirmations about love?
No! You can still use affirmations about love, just modify them to make them feel true!
Below are six affirmation modifiers you can use to make your affirmations ring true on a more consistent basis. Consider adding modifiers to adjust your affirmations and make them more effective.
1. “I’m looking forward to…”
When there’s something you want that you don’t have yet, one thing you can affirm is your excitement to get what you want.
Adding the modifier “I’m looking forward to…” to the beginning of your affirmation allows you to focus on what you want in a positive way. It enables you to practice the feeling of positive anticipation, which feels good.
The truth is, you are looking forward to this thing you want. For this reason, this affirmation should always ring true.
For example: “I am wealthy and successful” might not feel too true when you’re living paycheck to paycheck. Instead, change this affirmation to “I’m looking forward to wealth and success.”
2. “It feels really good when I…”
Sometimes, there are things we want again that we’ve had before. In times like this, this modifier is especially useful.
This affirmation modifier allows you to remember (and therefore practice) the feeling of having something you had before in the past.
Practicing the feeling of what you had is a great way to get into better alignment with the desire to have it again. This type of modifier asserts that you’ve done it before and it allows you to feel good about something you’ve accomplished in the past.
For example: “I attract positive people and circumstances” might not feel too true when you’re having a bad day and find yourself surrounded by negativity. In a situation like this, change this affirmation to “It feels really good when I attract positive people and circumstances.”
3. “I am often/frequently…”
Similar to the previous modifier, this affirmation modification asserts that you’ve done it before. This is another great modifier to use when there’s something you’ve had before that you want to experience again.
For example: “I am appreciated” might not feel to true when you’re feeling criticized or overlooked. Instead, try “I am often/frequently appreciated.”