I live with generalized anxiety disorder (GAD). Which means that anxiety presents itself to me every day, throughout the day. As much progress as I have made in therapy, I still find myself getting sucked into what I like to call \u201cthe anxiety vortex.\u201d<\/p>\n
Part of my recovery has involved recognizing when I start to head down into the rabbit hole, and using tools to take a step (or a lot of steps) back. I hear from more and more people that it\u2019s a challenge to identify anxious behaviors for what they are, so here are some of my own red flags, and what I do to help myself when they come up.<\/p>\n
An important place to start recognizing your anxious behavior is your own body. Many of us perceive that anxiety is all in our heads, when in reality, it is also very much physical. When my thoughts start to race and indecision kicks in, I turn my awareness away from my mind toward what is physically happening to me. When my breathing has become faster, when I start sweating, when my palms tingle, and when I sweat, I know that my anxiety level is increasing. Our physical reactions to anxiety are highly individual. Some people experience headaches, stomachaches, or backaches, while for others, breaths become quick and shallow. Beginning to notice what happens in my body and how it feels has given me a powerful way to spot anxiety symptoms. Even if I\u2019m not sure what is making me become anxious, taking note of my physical changes helps me to slow down and \u2026<\/p>\n
For me, anxiety isn\u2019t as focused on major catastrophic events. Rather, it\u2019s hidden in my daily activities. From choosing what to wear, to planning an event, to buying a gift, I become obsessed with finding the perfect solution. From small decisions to big ones, I will compare and check every and all options until I have exhausted myself. Before my episode of major depression and anxiety in 2014, I didn\u2019t think that I had an anxiety problem. Shopping, overachieving, people pleasing, fear of failure \u2014 now I can look back and see that anxiety defined many of my personal and professional habits. Becoming educated about anxiety disorders has helped me a lot. Now, I know what to call it. I know what the symptoms are and can connect them to my own behavior. As frustrating as it can be, at least it makes more sense. And I\u2019m not afraid to get professional help or take medication. It sure beats trying to deal with it on my own.<\/p>\n
Anxiety is like a snowball: Once it starts rolling downhill, it\u2019s very difficult to stop it. Body awareness, breathing, and knowing my symptoms are only one side of the coin. The other is actually changing my anxious behavior, which in the moment is extremely difficult to do because the momentum is so powerful. Whatever need is driving the anxious behavior feels urgent and dire \u2014 and, for me, that is usually an underlying fear of rejection or not being good enough. Over time, I have found that I can almost always look back and see that choosing the perfect dress wasn\u2019t so important in the grand scheme of things. Oftentimes, anxiety isn\u2019t really about what we are anxious about.<\/p>\n
These are a few tools that help me intervene with myself in the moment:<\/p>\n
Just walking away<\/strong>. If I am getting sucked into indecision and keep checking, researching, or going back and forth, I gently encourage myself to drop it for now.<\/p>\n Setting a timer on my phone.<\/strong>\u00a0I give myself 10 more minutes to check different options, and then I need to stop.<\/p>\n Keeping lavender oil in my purse.<\/strong>\u00a0I pull the bottle out and smell it at moments when I feel the anxiety rising. It distracts me and engages my senses in a different way.<\/p>\n Talking to myself, sometimes out loud.<\/strong>\u00a0I recognize that I am feeling scared and ask myself what else I can choose to do to help me feel safe.<\/p>\n Being active.<\/strong>\u00a0Exercise, going for a brief walk, or even just standing up and stretching helps me to reconnect with my body and takes me out of the intensity of the moment. Having some backup activities handy helps: cooking, crafts, watching a movie, or cleaning can help me choose a different path.<\/p>\n I have come to realize that anxiety is common. In fact, it\u2019s the\u00a0most common mental illness\u00a0in the United States. So very many others experience symptoms of anxiety, even if they aren\u2019t diagnosed with an anxiety disorder. While I don\u2019t wear a sign around my neck that says \u201cANXIETY PROBLEM,\u201d I do talk to family, friends, and even some colleagues about it. I can\u2019t underscore how much this has helped me. It has shown me that I am not alone. I learn from how other people cope with it, and I help them by sharing my own experiences. And I feel less isolated when things get tough. Those who are closest to me can help me recognize when my anxiety is becoming stronger, and while that isn\u2019t always easy to hear, I do appreciate it. They wouldn\u2019t know how to be there for me if I didn\u2019t share.<\/p>\n Getting to know my own anxiety has been the key to helping me unlock it. I used to gloss over behaviors that concerned me and didn\u2019t tune into how my body reacted to stress. While it has been difficult to face, it\u2019s almost a relief to understand how GAD impacts me from day to day. The more awareness I develop, the less often I find myself sucked down into the vortex. Without that knowledge, I couldn\u2019t get the help I needed from others and, most importantly, I couldn\u2019t get the help I need from myself.<\/p>\n About The Author:<\/strong><\/p>\n Amy Marlow lives with generalized anxiety disorder and depression, and is a public speaker with the\u00a0National Alliance on Mental Illness<\/a>. A version of this article first appeared on her blog,\u00a0Blue Light Blue<\/a>, which was named one of Healthline\u2019s\u00a0best depression blogs<\/a>.<\/p>\n5. Don\u2019t be afraid to ask for help<\/h3>\n