We\u2019ve all been there \u2013 making resolutions about changes we want to make in our life or goals we want to achieve: to lose weight, to be more mindful, to write more, to finally pursue that dream we\u2019ve been sitting on for the past five years. Usually, we start out strong for the first few days or a week and then, poof! We lose momentum or we fall off the proverbial wagon altogether.<\/p>\n
No matter whether the goal is big or small, it often requires making changes in your life so you can bridge the gap between starting something new and developing it into a habit that becomes as second nature to you as brushing your teeth or washing your face.<\/p>\n
I know, I\u2019ve been there. For years I had wanted to write a book, but so many things got in the way \u2013 not enough time, not enough ideas, the need to focus on other aspects of my life. Each time I sat down to write I was confronted with that intimidating blank page. I would try for a few days and then I would shelve the idea for months. It was infuriating \u2013 why could I not apply myself to this long-standing dream of mine to be a published author? Why would I make the decision to write each day and then give it up after just a few paltry efforts?<\/p>\n
When I really started to examine this, I realized that I had been looking at my goal from a perspective that was unhelpful. Conventional wisdom is that we usually fail because we don\u2019t have enough willpower to follow through on our goal or the change we\u2019re making in our lives. Merriam-Webster defines willpower as \u201cthe ability to control yourself : strong determination that allows you to do something difficult (such as to lose weight or quit smoking).\u201d If we buy into this paradigm we\u2019re embarking on a path of change thinking about it as being difficult and something we have to struggle with. All that does is set us up for failure.<\/p>\n
Instead, we need to think about our goals and the change we\u2019re making in a positive light and set ourselves up for success, right from the very beginning. Once I dismissed the notion of making my change difficult, I was able to move through it much more effectively and here are some of the simple techniques I used to do just that. These steps help you make change in your life\u00a0and<\/em>maintain it for the long-term so you can achieve those goals and burning desires.<\/p>\n If you\u2019ve got a goal or you\u2019re making change it\u2019s usually for a specific reason. If you want to lose weight maybe it\u2019s because you want to look great at your high school reunion. If your desire is to write more, perhaps it\u2019s because you want to become a published author as I did. Whatever the goal or reason for change, you need to get really clear on your \u201cwhy.\u201d<\/p>\n Ask yourself, \u201cWhy<\/em>\u00a0do I want to make this change?\u201d Being really clear on that\u00a0why<\/em>\u00a0is crucial to your success because it\u2019s going to be the key motivating factor that will drive all that you do. On those days when you don\u2019t quite feel like working out or sitting down to write, you go back to your why and it propels you forward. My why was about sharing my message more deeply and broadly than just through my coaching.<\/p>\n But, it\u2019s no use having that why floating around in your head. You have to write it down and post it in a place where you\u2019ll see it every day. I have mine posted up beside my computer, and that visual reminder keeps me focused on the big picture which makes the daily steps to get there that much easier.<\/p>\n Sometimes we set goals for ourselves, we have a compelling why for them, and that\u2019s still not enough to keep us going. I recently had a client tell me about a big dream she had for herself. When she talked about the goal and her why for doing it she was so excited and animated. But, when we got to the conversation of how important it was that she achieve her dream, she answered that it was a five on a scale of zero to ten where zero means not at all important and ten means extremely important.<\/p>\n This happens \u2013 we can be enamored with a goal and the idea of change to achieve it, but when it really comes down to it, it\u2019s just not that important to us, or something else is ultimately more important. Unless you rate the importance of achieving your goal as an eight or higher, think twice about moving forward. If it\u2019s not a priority for you, chances are you\u2019re not going to stick with it.<\/p>\n This was a big one for me. When I looked at this I knew I rated the importance of writing my book as a ten on that scale. Any day I would think about blowing off my writing, I would remind myself of how important this goal was to me and that helped me prioritize it over distractions that were pulling me in another direction.<\/p>\n There\u2019s a reason you haven\u2019t made this change earlier or that you tried but failed in the past \u2013 temptations and pitfalls that throw you off course. If your goal is to lose weight, how are you going to make sure that after a long day at work you don\u2019t order a pizza instead of fixing something healthy to eat? It\u2019s certainly easier to do that if there\u2019s no food at home or you\u2019re faced with an hour of meal prep time when you walk through the door. You know this situation may occur \u2013 just be realistic about it and figure out a solution ahead of time to counteract it. Maybe it means grocery shopping over the weekend and preparing meals ahead of time so that you just have to heat them up when you get home.<\/p>\n One of my big roadblocks to consistently writing was finding a time every day where I could quietly work and be undisturbed. Once the hustle and bustle of the day began there were always others things that had to get done. I had to find a way to block time on my schedule and honor it to counteract this roadblock.<\/p>\n Similar to proactively mitigating potential roadblocks is evaluating what you may need to release to make your change work. If you want to start the practice of meditating every morning, perhaps it means giving up the 15 minutes you spend perusing social media when you wake up. Or maybe it means going to bed a little earlier so you can get up earlier to fit it in. That\u2019s what I did to make space for my quiet writing time. I gave up some of my old morning routine so that I could write without interruption before my husband got up and the business day began.<\/p>\n It\u2019s important to recognize that change can\u2019t happen unless change happens. That sounds obvious, but so many of us think we\u2019ll just fit a new thing into our life without actually thinking about how it can work alongside everything else.<\/p>\n Getting clear on your big\u00a0why<\/em>\u00a0is essential for success, but it\u2019s not the whole picture. You need a roadmap for how to get there and that means breaking the goal down into small and manageable steps. To fulfill my dream of being a published author, I knew it wasn\u2019t just about writing the book. It was also about revising it, editing it, deciding how I wanted to publish, how I\u2019d promote the book, the sales distribution, and on and on. As the saying goes, \u201cHow do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time.\u201d Take the time to translate your goal into bite-size pieces so you have a clear plan for how you\u2019ll get it done.<\/p>\n When we first start working towards our goal we are usually hopeful and expectant \u2013 that\u2019s great and it\u2019s vital to success. But it can also contribute to our downfall if we\u2019re overly optimistic about how much change we can handle right out of the gate. Let\u2019s say you want to start a new workout regime. If you go from zero to working out one hour per day you\u2019ll probably be exhausted and burned out after just the first few days and that\u2019s when we\u2019re most likely to give up. Instead, start small \u2013 I started writing for 10 minutes the first few days, and then expanded that to 15 minutes, to 30 minutes and so on. After one month, I was writing for an hour a day and it felt like a natural progression instead of a shock to my system.<\/p>\n Success doesn\u2019t come from doing things every now and then. It comes from doing little things constantly over a period of time. That means committing to following through on your change in some small way every day. \u201cAha,\u201d I hear you say, \u201cI do need willpower, after all!\u201d Well, yes and no. Sure, does it require some determination to be consistent and persistent? Yes, but it doesn\u2019t have to come from the conventional place of overcoming and struggle \u2013 it can come from a new place of well-being and freedom. The way to do that is to go back to points 1 and 2: your\u00a0why<\/em>\u00a0and\u00a0how important<\/em>\u00a0it is that you achieve your change or your goal. As long as you are clear on those, you can then ask yourself this question to bring yourself back into focus: Does skipping out today move me forwards toward my goal?<\/p>\n And, what if you do skip a day? Hey, we\u2019re all human \u2013 it\u2019s going to happen at some point. Just get right back into it the next day. Don\u2019t spend time beating yourself up and don\u2019t allow it to send you into the realm of \u201call or nothing.\u201d Just pick up where you left off and start stringing together more consistent days.<\/p>\n Points 1 through 7 are all for naught if you don\u2019t actually believe you can do what you set out to accomplish. If you approach your change with thoughts like, \u201cWell, I\u2019ll try and see how it goes,\u201d or \u201cNothing seems to work for me, but I guess I\u2019ll give it another shot,\u201d I can pretty much guarantee you are setting yourself up for failure because what we think and believe becomes our reality. So as you embark on your change journey and you reach for your goals, start with the adage, \u201cI can and I will.\u201d Repeat it to yourself often. Write it down and stick it up beside your why for a daily reminder. You need that positive self-belief and self-talk to create your new reality.<\/p>\n I can\u2019t tell you how many times I would hear those voices of doubt creeping in. I\u2019d write something and think it was great, but when I went back and read it, I thought it was awful and had to be re-done. Every time I felt this way it was easy to spiral downwards into other negative thoughts that I\u2019d never get it done, that the book would be no good. But, when I looked at those five simple words, \u201cI can and I will\u201d and I thought about other goals I had achieved, it spurred me on to get back to the keyboard.<\/p>\n When we have a goal we often think we can\u2019t celebrate until it\u2019s done. Not true. Every completed step, phase, or part of the goal can be celebrated and the more you do this, the more momentum you build. Take the time to acknowledge your successes, no matter how big or small. If you go to the gym when you didn\u2019t really feel like it \u2013 that\u2019s a success. When I felt blocked in my writing, I\u2019d celebrate writing two paragraphs. Were those two paragraphs my whole book? Of course not. But the fact I sat and did them anyway meant I was moving myself closer to achieving the overall goal, and that\u2019s a success.<\/p>\n Don\u2019t wait until you fall off the wagon to assess whether your new change is working. Your initial plan for how you\u2019ll achieve your goal might need to be tweaked so that you keep yourself on course. After the very first week, take a few moments to evaluate how things went. Did some roadblocks appear that you weren\u2019t anticipating? How can you counteract those in the coming week? Did you find some days more challenging than others to fulfill your commitment? What was happening on those days? How can you work around that moving forward? Be honest with yourself and do this evaluation every week until you\u2019ve found your groove with what you\u2019re doing.<\/p>\n I know these techniques work because in just one year I\u2019ve gone from being a frustrated and aspiring author to releasing my first book. Once I started looking at my goal and the changes required in a more positive light, it shifted everything. As I broke down the goal into smaller steps and got really clear on why I wanted this for myself, I was able to incrementally implement the necessary changes.<\/p>\n What goals do you have? What changes have you been thinking about making? It doesn\u2019t have to be a struggle. You can achieve your goals more easily and develop real and lasting change by shifting how you view the change. Take on a new way of thinking and run your goals through this 10-step formula to make them your new reality. Who knows, you might even start to embrace change!<\/p>\n About The Author:<\/strong><\/p>\n Alex Bratty is a life coach, motivational speaker, and author of the book,\u00a0From Chaos to Clarity: Getting Unstuck & Creating a Life You Love<\/em><\/a>.<\/p>\n1.\u00a0GET CLEAR ON YOUR\u00a0WHY<\/em>\u00a0AND WRITE IT DOWN.<\/strong><\/h3>\n
2. BE HONEST WITH YOURSELF ABOUT\u00a0HOW IMPORTANT<\/em>\u00a0THIS IS TO YOU.<\/strong><\/h3>\n
3. UNDERSTAND THE POTENTIAL ROADBLOCKS AND PROACTIVELY MITIGATE THEM.<\/strong><\/h3>\n
4. ASSESS WHAT YOU MAY NEED TO GIVE UP OR EXCHANGE.<\/strong><\/h3>\n
5. WRITE DOWN THE STEPS NEEDED TO ACHIEVE YOUR GOAL.<\/strong><\/h3>\n
6. START SMALL AND BUILD.<\/strong><\/h3>\n
7. BE CONSISTENT & PERSISTENT.<\/strong><\/h3>\n
8. BELIEVE YOU CAN MAKE THE CHANGE AND ACHIEVE YOUR GOAL.<\/strong><\/h3>\n
9. CELEBRATE YOUR SUCCESSES ALONG THE WAY.<\/strong><\/h3>\n
10. EVALUATE AND REFINE THE PROCESS.<\/strong><\/h3>\n