I once heard a famous, self-help guru\/podcaster say, \u201cPurpose is the thing that launches you out of bed each morning, ready to attack the day.\u201d\u00a0 I was flummoxed. Launch?\u00a0 There are people that launch out of bed in the mornings ready to attack the day?\u00a0 Usually by the time my alarm goes off I\u2019m thinking\u2014What am I supposed to get done today? What emails did I forget to respond to?\u00a0 Did I mail that birthday card? \u00a0Who fed the cat?<\/p>\n
I have always admired those 5am early risers that get up, run 6 miles, read the paper, meditate every morning and brag about it with such joy it makes me want to pull the covers over my head (and that\u2019s on my more gentle days).\u00a0 I like to think that I have a more Eeyore approach to the mornings, wondering where my tail went and searching sleepy-eyed for coffee.\u00a0 There\u2019s nothing I love more than Christmas, yet there are home videos of Christmas morning when my little brother would come bouncing into my room Tigger-like shouting \u201cKate! Kate! Santa has come!\u201d and I have this look on my face like- just one more hour of sleep. And this is the morning most children happily launch out of bed eager to attack the day.\u00a0 Or at least attack the presents.<\/p>\n
Realizing our own limitations can make us feel sad sometimes.\u00a0 I will probably never hear the phrases \u201cmorning person\u201d or \u201cray of sunshine\u201d to describe me prior to that first cup of coffee.\u00a0 My favorite thing is to stay in pajamas until lunch reading.\u00a0 Another favorite pastime I enjoy is overthinking myself into a tizzy.\u00a0 I remember when a simple decision like stopping for coffee would stop me in my tracks.\u00a0 I would wonder \u2013 Where should I go?\u00a0 Should I get a latte? Can I really afford that? I should get tea.\u00a0 What kind of tea?\u00a0 Chai? Chai tea latte?\u00a0 And that\u2019s just about getting coffee.<\/p>\n
And then one day I had a huge realization: this is\u00a0perfectionism.\u00a0 The comparisons, the shoulds, the overthinking; this as a form of perfectionism because it is all based in fear \u2013 fear in couture clothes.\u00a0 The fear that if I\u2019m not launching out of bed in the mornings with this grand sense of purpose that I must be unworthy or somehow lacking.\u00a0 That I\u2019m not making the most of my one and only life.\u00a0 If I can\u2019t sit on the mountain top discovering my inner child and find peace then I\u2019m missing something everyone else is privy to.<\/p>\n
If I can be completely honest with you, the truth is that I am coming to love my imperfections and being myself- warts and all.\u00a0 I kind of love the side of me that has a stack of unfinished books, that goes to art galleries because I\u2019m supposed to but what I\u2019m really looking forward to is ordering a pastry at the caf\u00e9, the side that says \u201cyeah, I like to ride my bike to work\u201d and I don\u2019t even have a bike.<\/p>\n
It has taken me 31 years to come to love myself fully and completely even on the days when I wish I were different. I think \u2013 you know what, I am doing the best I can.\u00a0 I will never be perfect; I will never win the morning person competition or like cold weather or make beautiful jewelry or bike around Austin during South by Southwest.\u00a0 It\u2019s not that I can\u2019t do these things, it\u2019s just that I don\u2019t want to.\u00a0 Why would I spend time doing the things someone else would enjoy when I can find the things that bring me true happiness?\u00a0 It is better to be an imperfect me than a perfect example of somebody else.<\/p>\n
If you sometimes struggle with who you think you\u00a0should<\/em>\u00a0be and what you think your life\u00a0should<\/em>look like, I want you to know that you are not alone.\u00a0 The Dutch writer, Henry Mulisch, wrote about this idea: \u201cEvery person has, I believe, the feeling that he doesn\u2019t belong in the lives of other people.\u00a0 That he is in some way different, a guest, and he takes all possible measures to make sure others won\u2019t notice.\u00a0 This is the feeling all people have, and that is precisely why we all belong together.\u201d\u00a0 And that is precisely why we all belong together \u2013 I love that last line.<\/p>\n You\u2019re ok.\u00a0 You\u2019re not perfect, maybe there are things you\u2019d like to change and I know you can accomplish anything you put your mind to, but I have found that the real adventure is to love yourself fully, unconditionally, and without regard for the destination. \u00a0Loving ourselves and loving others is the bravest and most worthwhile path we could ever walk.\u00a0 It means accepting our limitations, accepting the limitations of others, and cutting ourselves some slack\u2026 \u00a0And giving ourselves permission to sleep in from time to time.<\/p>\n What will you let go of in order to fully accept yourself?<\/p>\n About The Author:<\/strong><\/p>\n Kate Carmichael is a Licensed Therapist in Austin, Texas who enjoys writing\u00a0a blog called Just for Today-\u00a0www.atx-counseling.com\/blog<\/a>.\u00a0 The intention of her blog is to transform lives by providing resources, ideas, articles,\u00a0and fun!<\/p>\n